As we discussed last time, and I realize it's been awhile but I've been busy with a lot of crap lately, despite the general drop in quality in the later seasons of The Simpons, there are still gems in the seasons that aren't often defended. This time, I want to tackle something similar, but on the opposite end. Today we're tackling the episodes from the show's golden years that just don't have the mark of quality we associate with early Simpsons.
I want to first say that I'm not covering season one episodes here. I feel that it would be unfair to put them here because the show was having difficulty finding its place, and if I did put it here it would probably take up the bulk of the list due to how awkward most of it can be to watch. Instead, I'll merely leave my thoughts on season one as "Worth watching to see how it all began, but overall, aside from Some Enchanted Evening, it's a bit awkward and unevenly paced." I'm also not including clip shows, as I do not feel that they are true episodes.
Also please note that I'm not saying these are awful episodes, merely episodes that I feel are of low quality in comparison to how fantastic the rest of each of these early seasons were.
#10: "Brother from the Same Planet"
Season Four
The Plot: The main story involves Homer being late to pick up Bart after soccer practice, which makes Bart so furious he ends up seeking out a big brother program to give him a more competent adult role model to hang out with. Homer finds out and goes to the same program where he takes on a young boy named Pepe to treat as a son. Shennanigans occur. There's also a b plot where Lisa becomes addicted to a hotline wherein she can listen to a boy named Corey that she is obsessed with, and her attempts to quit.
Why it's on this list: For the most part, this is a really forgettable episode, aside from the opening which I'll discuss later. I mean I guess Bart and Homer learning to get along together is nice, but it's been done better by other episodes, and Homer still ends up coming across more as a really horrible father in this one than anything. The Lisa b-story is even more forgettable and, to me, always felt out of place for someone like Lisa, but maybe that's me. Beyond the plots being really forgettable, outside of the opening, there really aren't many memorable humorous moments in this episode, and altogether it's the kind of thing where, going back, you're like "Oh man, I kinda remember this.", but it's not going to stay with you.
What it still did right: Pick Up Bart. "Trab pu kcip! Trab pu kcip!" This, Bart's vision of Homer while he's in the car, and the fight scene towards the end of the episode are the best parts of the episode, and the only moments that really stuck with me.
Overall thoughts: Not a bad episode, but a mostly forgettable episode with a plot that's been done better elsewhere on the show.
#9: "My Sister, My Sitter"
Season 8
The Plot: Lisa becomes a popular babysitter around town, and when Marge and Homer decide to head towards a big celebration at the Springfield boardwalk she is left to babysit her brother, Bart.
Why it's on this list: A lot of my dislike for this episode is centered around the ending, which really, really bothered me, not something most Simpsons episodes have ever been able to do, so this is a big case of "your mileage may vary." It bothers me that Bart gets horribly wounded and Lisa ends up trying to cover it up so that she doesn't get blamed, which ends up getting really... really dark before she's finally caught by the adults. After that? Well, none of the adults end up caring, and Bart apologizes to her. This bothers the living crap out of me, because the way they handle her carrying around Bart's injured body is honestly kinda disturbing, and in the end it all works out because the adults in Springfield don't really care and Bart's randomly feeling apologetic. It just feels like a copout to me, and it's always bothered me.
What it still did right: I love the entire subplot of Homer and Marge at the boardwalk. The entire early scene where Lisa is babysitting Rod and Todd is also really hilarious and helped bump this episode to a better position on my list, as well as Krusty's reaction to Bart's injury.
Overall thoughts: Not a -bad- episode, just an episode that, for me, is a bit disturbing and anger inducing.
#8: "The Principal and the Pauper"
Season 9
The Plot: It turns out that Principal Skinner is actually a former street thug named Armin Tanzarian who has been posing as Seymour Skinner this entire time. He loses his job, tries to go back to his old life, but nobody likes the real Skinner so he's brought back to being the principal and it's made illegal in Springfield to ever reference this episode again.
Why it's on this list: Do you really need to ask? The plot goes against everything we've known about Skinner this entire time, and that alone enraged not only a chunk of the fanbase, but even Skinner's voice actor, Harry Shearer. To this day this episode brings up some pretty heated arguments and a lot of bile based on the plot alone. The entire DVD commentary for the episode is basically just a mix of accepting that the fans and Shearer hate it and trying to defend it by saying that it was all intentional all along, to make an episode that parodies big reveals and plot twists in shows.
What it still did right: The writing is still hilarious on this episode, and I honestly think that keeps it from being the worst episode of the first 9 seasons, as so many claim. I especially love when Skinner reveals he had a choice of apologizing to the old woman who owned the purse he stole, or joining the army, and how if he'd known there was a war going on he just would have apologized. I'm a big fan of Skinner, especially back in the days when he was more than just a momma's boy, and this episode is just full of classic Skinner lines.
Overall thoughts: Horrible plot, but an episode that makes up for it by still being really, really funny. Certainly not the worst episode from the first nine seasons.
#7: "Treehouse of Horror 2"
Season 3
The Plot: Lisa has a nightmare based on The Monkey's Paw, Bart has a nightmare where he has godlike powers, and Homer has a nightmare that he gets put into a robot body and then has Mr. Burns' head attached to his shoulder.
Why it's on this list: I hate having to put a ToH episode on this list, as they tend to be some of the best episodes of the series, but this one to me is really, really weak in comparison. There's some funny bits here and there, especially in the Monkey Paw story, but Bart's nightmare is pretty dull and I found most of Homer's nightmare to be pretty boring as well. The second story especially bothers me because the few jokes aren't very funny, and half of it ends up being more of a bad attempt at a touching Bart and Homer story, which just feels really, really out of place for a Treehouse of Horror episode.
What it still did right: The Monkey Paw story full stop besides the abrupt ending. The board with a nail on it is especially something I still reference to this day, and is easily the best moment in this entire episode.
Overall thoughts: A rather boring episode, at least by Treehouse of Horror standards. Given how amazing the Halloween special was after this one, I'd say they learned what they did wrong.
#6: "The Canine Mutiny"
Season 8
The Plot: You know that cliched sitcom plot where someone doesn't understand how credit cards work and in the end runs into trouble when all of their stuff they bought with the credit card is taken away? Well, even The Simpsons fell victim to that plot. Bart gets a credit card, orders a bunch of stuff including a parody of Lassie, and when people come to repossess all of the stuff he bought, he lies so they'll take Santa's Little Helper instead of the Lassie dog.
Why it's on this list: Beyond being a really, really overly cliched plot, it's an SLH centered episode, and maybe it's just me, but I always found those to be the low points of the series. Those and Maggie centric episodes. This is just the worst of all of them because 1. It's less moving than Dog of Death, 2. It's lacking the gags Bart's Dog Gets An F has, and 3. We already had a similar episode, without the cliched credit card crap, wherein Mr. Burns ended up training SLH to be an attack dog. It's cliched, it's a repeated plot, and it's just not very funny.
What it still did right: While I stand by that the bulk of the episode is not funny, it still gave us a few rare hilarious bits, like Groundskeeper Willie being questioned about what happened to SLH. "I 'ate him!" I also lived Milhouse rambling about his fish. The ending was also pretty funny and took me by surprise.
Overall thoughts: Tired and cliche-filled, but still has some amusing moments.
#5: "Saturdays of Thunder"
Season 3
The Plot: Homer helps Bart build a soapbox racer for a competition, but fails so hard at making said racer that Bart ends up teaming up with Martin instead, so that Bart will race using Martin's car just so Nelson won't win. Homer gets upset about it, Marge makes a speech, Homer is no longer upset and decides he'll be proud of Bart, a Ben-Hur parody happens, and Bart wins.
Why it's on this list: First off, it's about as cliched as the previous episode on this list. The only reason why it's lower is that this episode has the misfortune of also being easily one of the most forgetable episodes of the early seasons. It has very little in the way of original humor, and relies way too much on movie references.
What it still did right: The McBain segment where his partner gets shot. I love the McBain segments so much, and this is honestly one of the only moments in the episode that I'd call memorable. Beyond that, it's also at least sweet to see Homer and Bart bonding, even if it has been handled better in other episodes.
Overall thoughts: So forgettable that after reading this article you're going to ask yourself "I thought they were going to cover 10 episodes, that was only 9!" You're probably never going to quote or reference anything in this episode beyond Mendoza, but it's still nothing that would piss anyone off, and it's not like the jokes are groaners, they just fall flat or don't exist.
#4: "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase"
Season 8
The Plot: Troy McLure shows off three Simpsons spin-offs: One in which Abe Simpson's soul is stuck in a love-matic machine in Moe's Tavern and must help Moe with his love life, one in which Skinner and Wiggum fight crime in New Orleans, and another which is just a parody of 70s variety hour shows.
Why it's on this list: The variety hour segment is more annoying and dumb than funny. The Simpsons family members and Lisa's replacement sing some songs and do purposefully bad jokes, but just because they're intentionally bad doesn't somehow make them funny. The Skinner and Wiggum bit is also really lame beyond a few amusing lines here and there.
What it still did right: The Love-Matic Grandpa was hilarious, and Troy McLure is always awesome. I also smiled a bit at some of the lines in the Skinner & Wiggum segment, but I still disliked the segment overall.
Overall thoughts: It's like the 125th Episode Spectacular, only poorly done. Just watch Love-Matic Grandpa and skip, he'll fill your hearts with love.
#3: "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"
Season 2
The Plot: Homer steals cable and Lisa gets really preachy over her fears that the family will go to hell because of it. No, seriously, that's the episode.
Why it's on this list: There's really not that much funny going on in this episode. Instead it's mainly just really preachy, and Lisa ends up being almost as annoying in this episode as she does in the later seasons. It's preachy, it's the closest the show ever got to a Very Special Episode, and it's awkward rewatching.
What it still did right: The opening scene is pretty damn funny, it's a parody of a scene from the Charlton Heston Ten Commandments movie, and I love it. Also, I believe this is Dredrick Tatum's first appearance on the show, and he's easily one of my favorite recurring bit characters.
Overall thoughts: I usually skip this one when marathoning the series, but only after the opening scene. At the time of air I guess it wasn't that bad of an episode beyond how preachy it is, but characterization has marched on so much that this... really just feels wrong. That can also be one way of getting entertainment out of the episode, though. Thinking about how funny it is that Lisa's the most faithful Christian in the family, though that doesn't save her yelling at her mother about eating two grapes at a grocery store.
#2: "Fear of Flying"
Season 6
The Plot: Homer gets kicked out of Moe's, struggles to find a new bar, ends up pretending to be a pilot so he can get into the pilot only bar, but is forced to act as a pilot, which ends up causing a minor accident. The airlines give the family free passes to shut them up, and the rest of the episode is about Marge being afraid of flying because she found out that her dad was a stewardess.
Why it's on this list: Reread that last bit again. Seriously, the main plot of this episode is really, really stupid and forgettable, it feels like something from season 15 or so, so it always surprises me that it came from what I'd consider to be the best season of the series. I'm not exactly a big fan of Marge centric episodes, but this is just really, really dumb.
What it still did right: The short opening plot about Homer trying to find another bar is funny, and it's pretty much the only humorous part of this episode. I especially love how Homer keeps telling the airport guy that he's not a real pilot and the guy just keeps saying "You flyboys crack me up" in disbelief. The Cheers parody is also really hilarious.
Overall thoughts: Watch the episode up until after Homer's plane accident, then skip. You've just watched the only part of the episode worth watching.
#1: "Lisa the Simpson"
Season 9
The Plot: Lisa realizes that her family members are as dumb as a rock, and that they begin losing their intelligence at a certain age. She becomes worried that she's about to become stupid like everyone else, and treats her brain to one last night around the town, only for it to turn out in the end that only male Simpsons family members have the moron curse, all the women are super successful, they just never get seen or referenced before or ever again.
Why it's on this list: Most of the above episodes are just forgettable or unfunny, this one actually just outright pisses me off. It basically says that Bart is doomed, like all Simpsons males, to be a complete idiot, but somehow the Simpsons women are immune to this, and altogether this just strikes me as a really stupid, unfunny, and sexist episode. I've never been fond of Simpsons episodes that paint family members in a negative light and then never fix that in some way, or have them learning a lesson, so to have an episode that explicitly has all Simpsons men turn out to be genetically moronic just really bothers me.
What it did right: The short subplot where Jasper is discovered to have been frozen in the Kwik-E-Mart, and that's pretty much it. The bulk of the jokes elsewhere in the episode really fall flat.
Overall thoughts: Want an episode about Lisa coming to terms with her intelligence relative to those around her? Go watch They Saved Lisa's Brain wherein she joins Mensa with Comic Book Guy, Dr. Hibbert, Dr. Frink, and Lindsay Nagel. Want a Flowers for Algernon episode? Go watch HOMR, as I recommended in the last article. Just avoid this episode. I would easily call this to be the worst of the "golden age" of The Simpsons.
